


how to reach out, even if you're 187cm

by littlekittenhui



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I can't write oneshots to save my life, I saw seungcheol talk about it and this fic idea popped into my head, I'm sorry guys I write such sad shit, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, also, back at it with some sad shit, don't mind the pairings too much yet, idk if it'll really turn romantic or not, idk why I always do this, poor gyu, so in all reality, this is seungcheol's fault, this is very loosely based on what actually happened on mingyu's birthday once, yes this is gonna be another chaptered fic rip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-12-22 21:57:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlekittenhui/pseuds/littlekittenhui
Summary: Despite being a part of maknae line, Mingyu didn't have any of the privileges they did. While he could usually excuse it, it still stung at times.What made him different? Why didn't he deserve his hyung's affections?





	1. my size doesn't mean that my heart doesn't need tending to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ did you guys miss me? I talked about writing a mingyu fic, and after seeing what seungcheol had said about what they did to mingyu on his birthday, this idea came to me ;-; more angst, sorry y'all
> 
> enjoy~

_____________________________

Mingyu was used to it: the teasing, the joking. He was used to being the butt of the joke. Usually, it didn’t bother him; he was good at taking it, reacting just the way he knew the others wanted him to. Mingyu knew it was just their way of showing affection towards him, that they found it easier to tease than to praise him.

Sometimes though, he wished to be adored the younger members were.

Despite being part of maknae line, Mingyu was not coddled the way the others were. Blame it on his personality or his stature, the older members didn’t feel it important to look after Mingyu the same way they cared for someone like Chan or Vernon. Even Seungkwan, who had the same personality as Mingyu, was coddled and praised by the hyungs often. Mingyu often saw Seungcheol look after Vernon, while Jisoo was busy with Minghao and Seungkwan. And Jeonghan? He was usually too attached to Seokmin or Chan to notice Mingyu.

The other hyungs usually hung in between the kids, going from one to another easily. While 96-line were more of the teasing hyungs to everyone, they still had a gentle touch when it came to the younger kids. It warmed Mingyu’s heart to see them act so loving towards each other, praising the kids to no end. 

Yet, it also left a numb feeling in Mingyu’s chest. 

While Mingyu wasn’t usually one to want coddling, he was still human. He also craved human affection, and sometimes, he desperately wanted his hyungs to look after him the way they did with the others. He tried to blame their lack of affection for him on his age and that he was one of the older boys in the maknae line. However, watching Jihoon play with Seokmin, or seeing Wonwoo gently talk to Minghao made him have his doubts that that was a factor. He then tried to write it off as his personality was hard to baby, considering he was quite loud and outspoken, not really the type others felt needed babying. Yet, seeing Jeonghan coo at Chan or Soonyoung watch after Seungkwan, Mingyu realized that this was probably not the case either. It left him wondering what was so different about him that made it so hard for him to earn his hyung’s affections. He tried not to think about it, not wanting to make a big deal about his needs. But sometimes, Mingyu couldn’t help but feel envious of the others when he saw the difference in treatment between him and the kids.

Mingyu watched as Jeonghan and Jisoo joked around with the vocal team, playing along with Seokmin and Seungkwan’s antics while gently involving Jihoon in their fun. He watched the boys poked and prodded each other, making the other laugh and tease them, while also gently running their fingers through their hair. Jealousy consumed Mingyu as he noticed Jihoon’s eyes soften at the sight, going along with their loud behavior. Jihoon was never that willing to go along with Mingyu’s antics, always scolding him lightly before returning too is stoic nature. Despite being roommates, he never really softened much for the taller boy, always acting as a hyung to him. While Mingyu understood that that was just part of Jihoon’s personality, he couldn’t help but wish his hyung would be warmer to him, especially when he saw that Jihoon was capable of it.

‘Maybe it’s just me.’ Mingyu thought sadly, turning away from the otherwise-lovely scene.

The performance unit was currently practicing in the studio, working through choreography. Part of Mingyu wished that he was there with them, knowing that if he was, there would at least be one or two people paying attention to him. While the hyungs didn’t mind him often, Minghao and him were attached at the hip most days, his same-aged friend usually looking out for him. It felt nice, having someone keeping track of him and making sure the boy was okay. And if Minghao was stuck to him, Junhui usually came as well. Their free-spirited hyung usually drifted in between everyone, not really babying anyone more than the others babied him, in all honesty. It was nice though, having Junhui draped off his shoulder, talking to him excitedly as he hopped around. Suddenly, Mingyu began to miss the China-line duo, wanting nothing more than to be accompanying them than being where he was now.

“Mingyu-yah, focus now. We need to finish these raps by tomorrow night, and you’re at Inkigayo all day tomorrow, so you can’t be dozing off now.” Seungcheol stated, snapping Mingyu out of his daydreams.

The taller boy sighed, trying to focus on the task at hand. They had been trying to write lyrics for a while now, but nothing was coming to Mingyu in his current state. He was supposed to be writing happier lyrics, yet all he could think of was the emptiness he felt inside. He wasn’t able to focus with the feelings brewing inside, and while he longed to tell his hyung what was going on, Mingyu didn’t want to trouble anyone. He knew that if he told his hyungs what was going on, they would feel awkward, as well as guilty, and Mingyu didn’t want that. It wasn’t their fault that it was hard to be affectionate with him, he knew that he didn’t exactly make it easy either.

Mingyu, having tuned the others out during his internal struggle, looked up at the slight commotion that was happening in front of him. He noticed that the other three members of his unit weren’t exactly working either; in fact, they were even more unfocused than he was. Wonwoo was dozing off, while Vernon was messing with him and laughing as he made his hyung twitch in his sleep. Meanwhile, Seungcheol was watching with a gummy smile, unbelievably fond of the two boys in front of him. At the sight, Mingyu couldn’t help but bristle. Here he was, feeling guilty that he was unable to think of lyrics for their songs, yet his hyungs were allowed to goof off with Vernon? It was unfair, they only let Vernon get away with such things because they had so much affection for him. If Mingyu was bothering Wonwoo in his sleep, the older boy would’ve scolded him, and if he had dozed off, Seungcheol would have had his neck.

Pouting, Mingyu began mumbling, sulking at the sight. He was hurt, if he was honest. He wanted to play with them too, but he knew that he would be scolded if he did. It wasn’t fair, he was a part of the unit too, and he was one of the younger ones in it! Why wasn’t he allowed to goof off as well? 

Looking over, Seungcheol noticed that Mingyu was mumbling to himself, and decided to tease him, “Talking to yourself? Such a weird kid.” He joked, making Mingyu’s cheeks flush. Mingyu’s mumbled got a bit louder at the attention, but Seungcheol was still unable to make them out. At the sudden commotion, Wonwoo opened his eyes, taking in the scene before him before joining in on the teasing.

“What, Mingyu’s doing something weird again? That’s not exactly new, hyung,” Wonwoo said, laughing a bit, “What’s up, Mingyu? Brain not working?” His comment made Seungcheol chuckle, while Vernon looked at his tallest hyung with questioning eyes. 

Mingyu just kept his head down, not wanting them to see his reddening cheeks. He felt embarrassed, in all reality. He knew they weren’t intentionally being mean, but he honestly didn’t want them to make fun of him right now. He wasn’t feeling bulletproof right now, and desperately wanted them to praise him instead of making fun of him.

“I’m working, hyung.” Mingyu said softly, not looking at any of the other boys. He really was trying his best to finish the lyrics before he had to go to work tomorrow. He didn’t want to burden anyone if he didn’t get the work done before tomorrow.

“You’re not working fast enough, Mingyu. You barely have anything written down, and who knows if it’s even good enough to submit to Jihoon. You should focus harder, Mingyu.” Wonwoo said, not looking at the taller man. If he had bothered to look at the boy, he would have noticed his eyes widen and the way his breathing became shakier.

“I- I’m trying, hyung. I’m just not thinking of anything right now.” Mingyu replied weakly, not knowing what to say anymore. Usually, he went along with his hyung’s teasing easily, knowing what kind of reaction they would want. Yet right now, he wasn’t sure he could provide for them. He didn’t want to go along with their jokes, not when he was really trying his best and they weren’t realizing that he was having a hard time. 

Vernon watched the entire exchange with confused eyes, not understanding why his hyungs were teasing Mingyu, when it seemed obvious that Mingyu himself was not responding as he usually did. He wanted to step in to stop them, to reassure Mingyu that he was doing fine; yet, he didn’t know how to do so. Mingyu wasn’t the type to need someone to defend him, always preferring to handle things in his own way. Despite knowing that, Vernon couldn’t help but feel that there was something wrong with the situation. Something was wrong with Mingyu, but he didn’t know how to help.

Meanwhile, the other two hyungs kept ripping into Mingyu, teasing him about his writing, not noticing the way Mingyu kept shrinking into his seat. Finally, Seungcheol declared, “If you can’t focus with us here, then why don’t we leave? We don’t have to be done before tomorrow night, and we’ll have the whole day tomorrow to write. Why don’t you stay here and write by yourself then, Mingyu?”

At that, Mingyu looked up with alarmed eyes. They were going to leave him here by himself? Weren’t they a team? Shouldn’t they stay and finish their work together? Mingyu began stuttering, “B- but hyung, shouldn’t- shouldn’t we all finish it together? I- I promise I’ll focus, you- you don’t have to leave…” He trailed off, wondering what was happening.

Yet, despite his pleas, Seungcheol and Wonwoo got up, dragging a shocked Vernon with them. Seungcheol quick replied, “You’re the one who isn’t focusing. Just sit here and get it done, Mingyu, it isn’t that hard. Don’t drag us down.” He said, probably as a joking comment, but it didn’t stop Mingyu from flinching at the comment.

“Don’t come back to the dorm until you’re done!” Wonwoo called out, shuffling out of the door without looking back at the boy, who was getting smaller and smaller in his seat. Seungcheol laughed, agreeing, before asking a dazed Vernon if he wanted to go eat meat together. Mingyu was unable to hear his answer, the blood racing in his ears. He couldn’t believe it; his members had left him to work on lyrics all night, by himself. They knew he had work tomorrow, yet they had told him to stay and finish, and to not come home until he was done.

What had he done to deserve this treatment? Was he not cute enough, not small enough to be doted on by his hyungs? Even if they didn’t want to dote on him, shouldn’t they at least be concerned about his wellbeing, with him working more and more? Didn’t they care at all about him?

Mingyu gripped his pen harder, trying to write, but unable to see through the sea of tears escaping him. 

_____________________________

It was 3am, when Mingyu was startled out of his misery.

“Mingyu? What the hell are you doing here?” Minghao said, rushing over to the taller boy’s side. He stared at the hunched over member, who seemed dazed to see another member. Minghao pushed on, “Are you working? Don’t you have to MC today? Where are the hyungs and Vernon?” He cupped his friend’s face, worriedly run-in his thumbs over the bags under Mingyu’s eyes.

Mingyu didn’t respond, instating leaning into Minghao’s warm touch. He was overwhelmed with relief that someone had come for him. While he had hoped it would be one of his hyungs, he was still grateful that someone had come to check up on him. Suddenly, there was someone else at the doorway, asking, “Hey, what’s going on in here, was the light just left- wait, Mingyu? What the fuck?”

Suddenly, there was another person by his side, running their hands over his face. Mingyu opened his eyes, only to see Junhui’s frantic eyes looking him over. He was unable to say anything before Junhui continued, “What the hell are you still doing here? You didn’t leave with the others? It’s so late, Gyu, you have to work tomorrow. Why didn’t you go home?” He demanded, hard tone in complete contrast with the gentle hand that ran through his hair.

At his hyung’s gentle affection, Mingyu was unable to help it.

  
The dam broke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, more sadness, why is that all I know how to write? poor mingyu, I'm so sorry baby ;-;  
I'm sorry I keep making seungcheol 'the bad guy', I know he isn't, my other baby ;-;  
also, I know this is tagged as a mingyu/junhui/minghao fic, but I'm not sure if I wanna make it legitimately romantic or not, so we'll see~  
also, don't worry guys, there will be a bit more satisfying 'revenge' in this fic, so look forward to that hehe  
this fic will be shorter than my other ones!! I originally wanted to make it a oneshot but I'm terrible at writing oneshots unless they have little plot rip  
anyway, please let me know what you guys think in the comments!! I know this isn't exactly what I promised, so please let me know what you think of it ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	2. the warmth of two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu didn’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ I'm back with some more angsty goodness hehe  
this chapter is focused on mingyu, minghao, and junhui ^-^ 
> 
> enjoy~

___________________________________

Mingyu didn’t cry.

He was good at keeping his emotions in check, being the strong one out of the members. When Seungkwan or Soonyoung were crying at award shows, Mingyu was usually in front, making the speech for them, or off to the side, smiling and thanking the fans. He wasn’t one to cry, even in private; not because he was afraid of showing emotion, but rather, he never felt like crying was something he needed to do to feel better. He was usually able to release his stress and worries through working out, or by talking.

  
Now, however, was not one of those times.

As Mingyu sobbed into Junhui’s hoodie, Minghao was frantic next to them, firing question after question at the taller boy. The youngest had never seen Mingyu in such a state before; what exactly had happened that made his best friend cry like this? Had the hip-hop team gotten into a fight, and as a result, Mingyu was left here? The thought filled Minghao with rage, appalled at the thought of the others leaving Mingyu behind for something petty. Had they hurt his feelings in some way? Or was this just a breakdown due to stress? Mingyu certainly had a lot of pressure on him; he was the pretty boy of Seventeen, the most recognizable member aside from Seungkwan. He had an image to maintain to a certain degree, while also balancing being an interesting character for the cameras. In certain ways, what Mingyu had to do was harder than Seungkwan; Mingyu had to constantly be on and make sure he was perfect, while also being sure he wasn’t stirring up any controversies or drama. It would be a lot to handle for anyone, their resident puppy as well.

While Minghao pondered what had caused the sudden meltdown of the middle member of 97-line, Junhui was occupied with comforting his dongsaeng and making sure he wasn’t going to suffocate himself in his hoodie. Running a comforting hand up and down Mingyu’s back, while one busied itself in his hair, Junhui began to coo at the taller boy, “Shh, it’s okay, Gyu. Don’t worry, whatever happened, it’s fine. You must be so tired, huh? We should get you home, baby. Do you wanna go home with hyung and Haohao, Mingyu-yah?” Junhui continued to soothe the younger boy when he didn’t respond, too hysterical to form a response. The sight broke the eldest’s heart; he hadn’t seen Mingyu cry since their trainee days. Mingyu was always so strong, so resilient. Junhui looked up to him in that respect, admiring how he was so in control of his emotions. He had never seen Mingyu cry like this before, as if he had his heart broken. Briefly, Junhui wondered if that was at all possible, before dismissing the notion. He would know if Mingyu was seeing someone; yet, he still felt that Mingyu’s sobs were from a type of heartbreak.

Junhui slowly pulled Mingyu back from where his face had been buried in his hoodie, making the taller disentangle himself from the fabric. As Junhui lowered himself to Mingyu’s eye-level, Minghao also crouched down to get a better look at his best friend’s face. The sight tugged at his heart; Mingyu’s swollen eyes, bloodshot, tears and snot running down his face, cheeks flush. It pained him to see their cheerful puppy looking so defeated, so distraught. Minghao swore to himself, in that moment, that whoever had caused this would pay.

Mingyu, noticing the two men staring at him intensely, lowered his head, not wanting to make eye contact. He had never cried like this in front of anyone before and he really did not want to make this into a big deal. He knew that they would pry; Junhui and Minghao were so caring, they always looked out for him. Knowing their intentions, Mingyu glued his eyes to the floor, ignoring Junhui’s gentle calls for him to look at the elder. Suddenly, there was a gentle touch at his chin, slowly forcing him to lift his head and look at his hyung. When he looked into Junhui’s eyes, Mingyu couldn’t help but tear up again, a small whimper escaping him. Junhui’s eyes were full of concern and care; the older boy was practically brimming with love, wanting to fill the younger with as much love as he needed. 

Junhui wiped away the tears that dribbled down his cheeks, gently asking, “Mingyu-yah, it’s too late, okay? Can hyung take you home now? I know you’re very overwhelmed, and Haohao and I have questions, but we can talk later, okay? You need to go home and rest. I’ll try and talk to Seungcheol-hyung about having you miss your schedule tomorrow, okay?” Junhui brushed Mingyu’s bangs out of his face, speaking softly to the other, as not to startle him. At the mention of their leader, however, Mingyu seemed to sob a bit harder, puzzling both Junhui and Minghao. So, it was a problem with the hip-hop team? And Seungcheol just let it happen?

“Mingyu,” Minghao said, making both boys look over at him, “I know you don’t want to talk about it now, but can you at least give us an idea of what happened? Did someone hurt you? Did you fight with the other members?” He asked, not able to resist. Minghao needed to know what was going on, and who’s ass he was going to have to kick for making his best friend cry like that. Junhui gave him a light jab and a warning look, not wanting to upset the rapper any more than he already was. Surprisingly, Mingyu answered.

“We just…. it wasn’t anything, really, Hao.” Mingyu said, sounding so tired it made Minghao’s heart ache. He knew the taller boy wasn’t going to get much rest, and it hurt him to think of how exhausted he would be tomorrow at his schedule if they weren’t able to get him out of it.

Junhui suddenly chimed in, asking, “It couldn’t have been nothing, Gyu. You’re so upset…. did one of the hip-hop members say something mean? Is that why you’re still here so late? Did you not want to go home?”

Mingyu let out a humorless laugh at that, startling both boys in front of him, before bitterly replying, “No, it’s not that I didn’t want to go home. Hyungs said I couldn’t.”

At that Minghao’s eyes widened, looking at Mingyu with a confusion written all over his face, “What do you mean they said you couldn’t?” He reached out, grabbing one of Mingyu’s shaky hands and rubbing the back of it to comfort him.

The rapper let out a shaky breath, before telling them, “Hyungs said… I wasn’t focusing, and I wasn’t writing anything good… that I needed to focus and get my work done cause I had to go to Inkigayo tomorrow. They said… to stay here and finish and not come home until I was done.” As Mingyu recalled the earlier incident, his that began to tighten, words becoming strangled. He continued, “I thought maybe they were kidding, but they said they didn’t have to finish now, so… they left.”

Minghao, unable to contain his rage, shouted, “They just fucking left you here? To work by yourself? Even though you have to work tomorrow, they just fucking abandoned you here? What the fuck?” He began to get worked up, only calming when he left a hard gripping his arm. Minghao looked over, seeing Junhui send him a glance, before taking a deep breath and trying to calm his nerves. While it did help slightly, he was still so angry, and so confused. Why did they just leave Mingyu alone like that? Weren’t they a team? Shouldn’t they all stay and work together?

As Minghao got lost in his thoughts, Junhui decided to bring them both back into reality, gently asking Mingyu, “Can you tell me more about what happened, Mingyu-yah?” He ran his thumb over the younger’s cheek, who seemed to relish the gentle touch. It made Junhui’s heart hurt a bit, seeing him so vulnerable.

“U-um, I just… I wasn’t able to focus… I was trying, but…” Mingyu looked down, like he was expecting to get scolded. The sight only hurt Junhui more.

“Hey, it’s okay, Mingyu, it happens. Did they yell at you?” Junhui asked gently, rubbing Mingyu’s temple with his thumb to get the younger to look at him again, which he refused to do.

“They- they didn’t yell…. Um, they- they just… teased me a bit, that’s all…” Mingyu mumbled, slightly embarrassed. Saying it out loud, it felt like he was overreacting to what had happened. He was making a fool out of himself in front of his members, and they were going to tease him about it too.

Junhui reached out at Mingyu’s statement, making the rapper look at him once more. He had a serious look in his eyes, making Mingyu gulp. Was Junhui-hyung going to scold him now for making such a commotion? He really couldn’t take it right now, he really couldn’t. Mingyu closed his eyes, not wanting to see his hyung look disappointed in him for reacting in such a violent way. Yet, when he felt the soothing hand run through his hair once more, Mingyu couldn’t help but relax, slowly opening his eyes to see Junhui looking at him with such fondness, such gentleness that Mingyu was a little awestruck. The elder smiled sadly at him, before asking, “Did they hurt your feelings, Gyu? Did they go too far this time?”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Mingyu shook his head before replying, “No, it- it wasn’t like they were being extra mean or anything. It just- it was getting too much. I just… they were all joking around with each other, and then scolding me. They even took Vernonie out to eat after they left me…hyungs always dote on the younger members, but they always scold me. I don’t get it, hyung. Am I not lovable enough to forgive so easily?” He mumbled out, a few tears making their way down his cheeks.

For a minute, Junhui was dumbfounded. He genuinely had no idea how to respond to Mingyu’s sudden confession. Mingyu? Not being lovable? Where in the world did he come up with such a crazy thought? He was obviously feeling neglected by his hyungs, but why did he think it was his fault? Before Junhui could say anything, Minghao broke his silence, fuming, “It’s not like that, Mingyu! You’re not unlovable, that’s ridiculous. The hyungs are being stupid. 

Unable to hold back, Mingyu cried, “It’s not just today though! They always- they always treat me different! They look after you, and Channie and Vernonie and Seungkwan and Seokmin so much, always taking care of you guys. But they… they just leave me by myself. Hyungs never dote on me like they do you guys. I- I don’t need to be doted on all the time, but- but it would be nice to be treated like I was one of the maknaes too… I- I need someone to look after me too…” He trailed off, feeling embarrassed by his statements. It felt ridiculous to say it aloud; he felt like he was begging for someone to pamper him, which wasn’t what he wanted. He just wanted to be treated the same as the others, to be adored like they were. 

“Mingyu-yah…” Junhui said gently, “It’s not like that, baby. We love you, so so much. It’s not that we don’t love you, not at all. I’m sorry if hyung ever made you feel bad.” He said sincerely, making Mingyu shake his head and grab his hand.

“No, it’s- it’s not you, hyung. You’re always nice to me, you don’t- you don’t make me feel bad. It’s… it’s the older hyungs, and sometimes Wonwoo-hyung and Jihoon-hyung… they just, they don’t like me so much…” Mingyu said softly, tearing up at the thought. He adored his hyungs so much, so it hurt to think about how it was one-sided. Sometimes he genuinely wondered if they actually loved him, or if they liked the things he did for them. It was hard to tell if they just felt awkward with him, given his size. He desperately wished he was smaller sometimes, just so he could receive the attention from his hyungs he so often craved.

“Hey,” Minghao said suddenly, making Mingyu look over at him, “That’s not true, not at all. I understand why you’re upset, and you have every reason to be. I’m pissed off too, but the hyungs all love you, Mingyu. Yeah, they might have a shit way of showing it, but they love you a lot. There’s no way in hell that any of them dislike you, Mingyu-yah. Don’t even think things like that, okay?” He told the rapper, carding his hard through the taller’s hair.

Junhui smiled at Minghao’s reassurance, adding, “It’s true, Mingyu. While they’re all idiots for not showing it properly, they do adore you. They’re dumb guys, so they don’t show it the same way for you as they do the others. I think that they assume you like the way they show their love now, so they don’t bother to give you any other kind of affection. It’s not right, not at all, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, Gyu. We all love you so so much. Me and Haohao love you, so dearly. Don’t we, Haohao?” He said, looking over at the youngest with a smirk on his face. Minghao rolled his eyes at the sudden teasing look, but just smiled back at Mingyu before nodding his head in agreement.

Seeing their affection towards him, Mingyu couldn’t help but let out a wet giggle, wiping harshly at his eyes. At that, Minghao let out a disapproving noise, before pulling Mingyu’s rough hands away and replacing them with the sleeve of his shirt, gently dabbing the tears away. Mingyu reveled in the gentle care, closing his eyes to enjoy the coddling. Junhui giggled at the sight, before teasing the youngest, “Haohao sure is gentle towards you, Gyu. Who needs the stinky hyungs when you have someone as loving as Haohao~” He singsonged, making Minghao swat at him and Mingyu giggle. Junhui just grinned, happy to have gotten some laughter out of their giant puppy. He regarded the boy with a fond smile, before standing up and stating, “It’s getting really late, boys. We need to get home, now. I’ll talk to the manager, but I don’t know if he’ll let you sit your schedule out, Mingyu-yah.” Junhui said sympathetically.

Sighing, Mingyu said, “It’s okay, hyung. It’s not your fault. I at least finished my work, right?” He tried to be cheerful for his hyung’s sake, but from the pout on the eldest’s face, it wasn’t working. The rapper tried to stand up to follow the Chinese boys out of the room, but his whole body felt so heavy. It was almost impossible for Mingyu to get up at this point, having been sitting in the same position for hours now. Seeing him struggle, Junhui made his way over and squat down in front of the boy, back facing him, before saying, “Get on, Mingyu-yah. I’ll carry you back to the dorm.”

Mingyu began to sputter at the request, “Hyung! No- no I can’t. I’m too big hyung, you’ll- you’ll get hurt!”

Junhui giggled at that, teasing, “I’m not that much smaller than you, Mingyu-yah. And despite not working out, I’m much more muscular that Haohao over there, so you have nothing to worry about~” The statement made Minghao glare at him, but he agreed that Mingyu should just get on Junhui’s back.

Seeing no other choice, Mingyu resigned himself to his fate, swinging his legs around Junhui’s waist and his arms around his neck. The elder boy picked him up with ease, not making any indications that Mingyu was too big or heavy for him. The sentiment made Mingyu smile, happy to be doted on by one of his hyungs in such a way. He suddenly felt so relaxed, so sleepy pressed against his hyung’s back. Mingyu rested his cheek against Junhui’s broad shoulder, mumbling out a small “thank you, hyungie”, before drifting off into dreamland.

“Wow, he really fell asleep.” Minghao said, taking a picture of his best friend on Junhui’s back. Junhui just scolded him lightly between giggles, cooing over how cute Mingyu was. As they made their way back to the dorm, the two boys whispered, as to not wake the boy up. They discussed what their plan was when they got back, as they wanted to try to let Mingyu get some rest the next day.

Walking up the steps to their dorm, they quickly slipped inside, taking their shoes off gently before Minghao worked to get Mingyu’s off his feet. Junhui then shuffled to Minghao’s room, deciding it was best to not disturb Jihoon this late. They carefully worked Mingyu off his back, not wanting to wake him up accidentally. The boy was sleeping so soundly, exhaustion written all over his face. Suddenly, the two were unable to take it anymore. After gently tucking Mingyu into bed, they stormed over to Seungcheol and Wonwoo’s room, not bothering to knock, before going in and shaking their leader awake. Seungcheol was roused with a start, squinting at the fuming boys who were in front of him.

“Junhui? Minghao? What’s going on?” He asked sleepily, confusion evident on his face.

“We need to talk. Now,” Junhui said sternly, leaving no room for argument, as Minghao nodded, glaring at the eldest hyung, “Maybe wake Wonwoo up too. He needs to hear this.”

“Now? Why? What’s this about?” Seungcheol asked, sitting up properly and looking at the two Chinese members.

“It’s about Mingyu, and how shitty you guys have been to him.” Minghao spit out, enraged.

Squinting at them, Seungcheol looked incredibly lost, before asking,

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh, a storm is brewing~ I told you guys there would be a bit more 'revenge' in this story, right? that's what's coming hehe  
jun and hao's protective nature of mingyu is so sweet, and it was so nice to write; I really wanted to show the contrast in their reactions, one because while hao is outwardly angry and supportive, junhui is focused with calming mingyu down, trying to support him in a different way, but both of them come together to be pissed at the others about their shitty behavior lol  
you guys might have noticed that I changed the amount of chapters, yeah, I think this needs another one to resolve issues, and it might need another one even after that, sorry ;-;  
anyways, leave any comments/criticisms below!! I love knowing what you guys think ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	3. fighting for your friends will ultimately lead to healing, they say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The room was dead silent; the only noise Minghao could hear was his blood rushing in his ears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, I'm back with a new update~ we're finally gonna get to see the argument and the 'revenge' so to speak for mingyu  
in all honesty, I don't know how to feel about this chapter, as I don't love how it came out ;-; but I hope you guys still are able to enjoy it
> 
> enjoy~

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The room was dead silent; the only noise Minghao could hear was his blood rushing in his ears.

To say he was pissed off would be an understatement; seeing his best friend, crying his eyes out as he whimpered about how his hyungs didn’t love him broke the younger’s heart in two. Mingyu had always been a beacon of light to him, always there for him whenever he needed someone to talk to. He was Minghao’s first friend, besides Junhui, in Korea and Minghao loved him dearly; so to see his best friend behind himself, sleep deprived and hysterical, it hurt. So yeah, Minghao was going to let them have it.

“What’s going on, guys? Why do you need to talk now?” Wonwoo asked, still groggy from being woken up so late. Seeing him, Minghao could only think of how exhausted his best friend was, and all the guilt he felt for waking his hyung up instantly vanished.

Before either boy could answer, Seungcheol interrupted, asking, “What did you mean when you said that about Mingyu?”

Minghao opened his mouth, splintering words on the tip of his tongue, only to feel a hand gently grab his arm. Looking over, he saw Junhui was already looking at him, shaking his head slightly. He knew that Junhui would want to solve this as calmly as possible, without arguing; yet, Minghao couldn’t help but feel that that would be letting them off easy for what they had put Mingyu through.

Nevertheless, Minghao closed his mouth and took a deep breath through his nose, letting Junhui explain the situation, “Hyung, do you know what time it is right now?”

Confusedly, Seungcheol looked over at his alarm clock, reading out, “It’s 4:26, Jun. Which brings me back to why you woke us up now?” He asked, slightly annoyed that it this was taking too long. He didn’t know what was so urgent that Junhui felt it was imperative to wake him up now, but he wants this over and done with so he could go back to sleep.

Sighing, Junhui continued, “Yes hyung, it’s almost 4:30. Do you know what happened today when Minghao and I went around the practice rooms to lock up? Do you know what we found?”

“No, Jun, I don’t, so why don’t you tell us what you found?” Seungcheol asked, annoyance seeping into his voice.

With an edge in his voice, Junhui sharply answered, “Mingyu, hyung, we found Mingyu. Mingyu, who has a schedule in a few hours that he has to wake up for. Mingyu, who was left in the practice room, abandoned by his members because they thought he needed to work alone. Mingyu, who was so exhausted and upset, he burst into tears when we asked him why he was still there, and where you guys were. We fucking found Mingyu having a mental breakdown in the practice room by himself at 3am hyung, and it took us an hour to calm him down enough to bring him back here. That’s who we fucking found.” Junhui spit out, anger bleeding into his voice. Hearing the older curse was jarring for Minghao, as he wasn’t one to get into arguments with others, and judging by the looked on both Seungcheol and Wonwoo’s faces, they are just as shocked.

Stammering, Wonwoo asked, “What? Why- why was he there still? What happened?”

“You fucking left him there, that’s what happened!” Minghao shouted, not able to contain his anger anymore, “We got there and he was so out of it, scribbling down lyrics and mumbling to himself. He was so tired, so strung up, he looked dead on his feet! When hyung asked him what had happened, he started sobbing. He was crying so hard, I was worried he would hyperventilate, hyung! He- he wouldn’t stop crying about how you guys left him there, and how you had made him feel useless. He was heartbroken, and you just abandoned him.” He continued, shoulders shaking as his emotions began to pour out of him. Minghao couldn’t help the way he was rumbling with anger, so enraged on his friend’s behalf. And knowing that it was his hyungs who made him feel so terrible, it was killing the Chinese boy.

“Wait, what? We- we just told him to finish up! I thought he would be there for two hours max, and then come home! When we got here, his room door was closed and the light was off so we just assumed he was already asleep. We didn’t know he stayed here! We weren’t being serious when we said he should stay, I didn’t think he would actually do it…” Seungcheol trailed off, guilt seeping into his bones. While he didn’t think that Mingyu would actually stay there all night, he also knew how earnest the younger was. He sighed, thinking about how tired the younger would be at his schedule and about how upset he’d be with them in the morning.

Minghao didn’t let anyone else speak, spewing out, “Hyung, you are the eldest in the group, you’re our leader. Isn’t it your job to make sure everyone’s okay? Isn’t it your responsibility to make sure the members are taking care of themselves? If one of them is having problems, shouldn’t you help, or at the very least, stay with them? How could you just abandon him there, hyung?” He stared at Seungcheol with accusing eyes, before turning his gaze to Wonwoo, “And you, how can you make those kinds of jokes at him? You’re his hyung too, and you guys have been close for years! Mingyu has always gone out of his way to make you comfortable, Wonwoo-hyung, to make sure you were okay. And what do you to do return the favor? Make fun of him endlessly! Mingyu is younger than you are, yet you rarely ever look out for him!” Minghao fumed, not letting up on either boy.

“Minghao,” Junhui said, snapping the other boy out of his enraged state, “Calm down a little. It’s not productive if this is a one-sided conversation. We need to talk about this and make sure we all understand each other if we want this to better the group, and we want to help Mingyu. So calm down, okay?” He said, reaching over and rubbing the younger’s arm. He knew that Minghao was going to be hotheaded about this, of course he would be. Everyone knew how close the two were, and seeing your best friend cry like that couldn’t have been was. If it had been Wonwoo or Soonyoung, or Jihoon, Junhui wouldn’t know what he would do.

Turning to the rapper duo, who were still sputtering after Minghao’s outburst, Junhui sighed, before explaining, “Mingyu isn’t just upset that you guys left him by himself. He’s seriously hurt by the way some of the hyungs act towards him, especially you two. He thinks that you guys don’t like him as much as the others because you don’t treat him the way you treat the other dongsaengs, and it hurts his feelings. Joking around with him is one thing, but to constantly tease the poor kid, not giving him a break, and then leaving him out of things, like, I don’t know, say, a unit dinner? Yeah, that’s bound to upset him. I know that Mingyu is a capable and confident person, and that maybe that’s why you don’t feel like you need to look out for him as much, but he’s still part of maknae line and he still needs to be looked after like anyone else. As his hyungs, especially as his unit hyungs, you guys should be watching over him, and it’s been made clear to me that you haven’t.”

For a moment, the room was silent again, no one speaking a word. The rappers seemed to be taking in all that had been told to them, and the two Chinese members waited anxiously for their response. Finally, Wonwoo spoke up, “Look, I never meant to hurt Mingyu’s feelings. I wouldn’t have never done all that if I knew it was upsetting him. But to say that we don’t look after him…”

Not letting him finish, Junhui said, “Wonwoo-yah, really think about it. Who in our group actually babies Mingyu? Can you honestly think of anyone? Most of us tease him, joke around with him, but rarely do we dote on him, or take care of him, me included. We’ve all got it in our heads that Mingyu can look after himself, that he’s a responsible adult who can do everything. All of us forget that he’s just a kid, and that he needs someone to be there for him too. Just like the others like it, Mingyu also likes being praised and being cared for. He’s a giant puppy, he needs affection and attention, and he needs us to watch over him like the maknaes do. None of us really do much to take care of the kid, and it’s not right. He’s one of the busiest members, yet we rarely ask him if he’s okay, if he’s handling his schedules well, if he needs to rest. It’s not fair to him to have to shoulder everything by himself. He craves his hyungs’ affection more than anything, and the fact that we haven’t been giving him that is wrong.” He finished, voice wavering. Thinking about how much Mingyu must have been hurting for it to have overflown the way it had, Junhui found himself choked up. Though Mingyu had tried to reassure him that he wasn’t the cause of the breakdown, Junhui couldn’t help but feel guilty about his dongsaeng’s pain.

Suddenly, Seungcheol spoke up, “It’s… it’s not right. You’re right, we don’t treat Mingyu well, all of us. It’s my fault, I’m the eldest, I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve been watching out for him more, and making sure that he was feeling okay. I’m sorry, guys.” He said, guilt seeping from his voice. During Junhui’s speech, he had begun to put the pieces together; he had noticed that Mingyu would be somewhat withdrawn at times, the sparkle in his eyes gone and the bounce in his voice vanished. Yet, he had never thought to ask about it, always assuming it was exhaustion. How stupid he was, to never think to ask his member what was bothering him, or to even comfort him in his time of need. Mingyu was not only one of his group members, but one of his unit members as well. He had ample time to see him and to notice how sullen he had been, yet he didn’t.

“I- I didn’t think that it would affect him so much… I thought he was fine, that he didn’t care about that kind of stuff. He’s clingy but…” Wonwoo trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. It never had occurred to him that he was treating Mingyu so poorly. Wonwoo himself wasn’t a very affectionate person, but had always tried to praise the younger members when he thought they needed it; yet, he rarely thought about praising Mingyu. Why was that? He always saw Mingyu as being so confident, so sure of himself, that he thought he didn’t need it. He couldn’t help but feel ashamed, knowing that he had contributed to his donsaeng’s mental breakdown.

“Seungcheol-hyung, Wonwoo-hyung,” Minghao said, catching everyone’s attention. The youngest had been silent for a while, thinking over what he wanted to say, “I know that neither of you would ever intentionally hurt Mingyu. No one would ever do that; we all know how sweet he is. But unconsciously, the hyungs have been neglecting him, and it’s making him question himself. He thinks that he’s unlovable, or that he’s done something to make the hyungs not want to dote on him. He thinks that you guys don’t like him as much as the rest of us. And while I know that’s not true, it doesn’t matter what I know. Because Mingyu doesn’t. He doesn’t know that you guys love him, because you don’t express it to him. Imagine how he felt, when you guys were ripping into him while joking with each other. And then, to leave him there while you took Vernon out to eat? He was so upset, hyung. I’m not saying you have to baby him to death, he would probably hate that. I’m just saying, look after him a bit more, please? He needs your guys’ love too.” Minghao finished, letting out a small sigh. He tried his best to convey all of his best friend’s feelings to the elder boys, to make sure that they understood what it was that Mingyu was feeling, so that they could do better and fix their relationships.

“Myung- Myungho-yah…” Wonwoo said, voice a bit muffled, “I- I never meant to do that… I love Mingyu, of course I do. I would never- we would never hurt him like that intentionally… I’m- I’m so sorry, god, what did we do? What did we do to him?” He muttered, voice sounding pained and lost. Hearing what Minghao had said, the younger rapper was at a loss for words. He had no idea that his stupid actions had made Mingyu feel so awful. What kind of hyung was he?

Suddenly, a pair of hands reached out and grabbed both of Wonwoo’s. Looking up, Wonwoo was met with Junhui’s gentle gaze, before the boy said, “Wonwoo-yah. We’re not telling you this to hurt you, or to make you feel guilty,” Junhui said, ignoring Minghao’s mutter of ‘speak for yourself’, “We’re telling you so you can fix this. We want you guys to fix this. I want Mingyu to be happy, and to feel loved in this group. I want him to always be smiling and bouncing around the dorms. I want him to always be yelling and cheering and being the loud kid he is, because that’s how we know he’s happy. I never wanna see him the way he was tonight, because that’s not how he should ever feel, especially regarding us. We’re telling you all of this for Mingyu, because he would never do it first. He might be loud and outspoken, but he would never say anything to his hyungs that he thinks would hurt them. You know he’s such a sweet kid, he would keep it to himself until he couldn’t anymore. You don’t want him to be upset anymore, right, Wonwoo? You want to make Mingyu feel better, right?” Junhui looked into Wonwoo’s eyes, giving him a reassuring smile.

Voice breaking, Wonwoo answered, “Yeah. I wanna fix this. I wanna help, Junnie. I can’t- I can’t let him think those things anymore.”

Smiling brighter, Junhui looked over at Seungcheol, who had been staring off into the distance, seemingly thinking things over, “Hyung? What about you?”

Snapping into reality, Seungcheol looked over and easily replied, “Of course I do. This is my fault, I’m the eldest and I’ve been treating him like shit. It’s not fair to Mingyu to have to bear the burdens on his own, and for us to treat him so poorly. I want to fix this too, Jun-ah, Myungho.” He looked over to the taller boy, who finally seemed to soften. Said boy sat down next to Seungcheol, leaning into his side as he wrapped his arm around him.

“That’s all we want, hyung. We just want everyone to be okay, for no one to be sad. I don’t like seeing any of you upset.” Minghao said softly, not looking at anyone. Chuckling, Junhui poked the other’s face, getting an annoyed scrunch of the face as a response.

“Well,” Junhui said suddenly, rising from his spot next to Wonwoo, “If we want this to work, we have a few things we need to do. First, we need to call the manager and ask for Mingyu’s schedule to be cancelled, or at least postponed. I know it’s Inkigayo, but maybe we can get someone else to fill in for him? He’s exhausted and needs rest.” Junhui looked over to Seungcheol, who nodded and went to retrieve his phone to make the call, “Next, we need to go to sleep, because I’m exhausted and this was an incredibly draining conversation to have.” The others chuckled, Minghao replying, ‘same’.

Happy to have lifted the mood a bit, Junhui continued, “And third, we need to tell the other hyungs. It wasn’t just you two that Mingyu felt this way towards, but all of us. We all need to hear his feelings and to fix this. We all need to be better.” He said seriously, to which the others nodded.

“And then what?” Wonwoo asked, wondering where this would lead, although he already had a vague idea of what would happen.

Sighing, Junhui replied, “Then, we talk to Mingyu, all together. I know it’ll be a lot, especially for him, but he has me and Minghao on his side, and we can take it slow. He needs to know that we’re all here for him, and we need to make sure he knows as soon as possible. I don’t want these negative feelings brewing in him for any longer. Let’s try to all talk tomorrow, okay?”

Seungcheol thought the situation, before expressing his concern, “But what if he doesn’t want to? What if he gets overwhelmed and doesn’t want to hear what we have to say?” He asked, worried over their puppy’s mental health. He didn’t want Mingyu to feel as though he had no choice in the situation, or that he was being forced.

“Well, we can only hope he’ll listen to us. You know him, hyung, you know how kind he is. He’s too good, he’ll let us talk. And me and Junnie-hyung will let him have a way out if it’s too much. But don’t worry too much about that, hyung. Mingyu is the sweetest person I know, he’s too forgiving. I know, it’ll be okay.” Minghao responded. The boys smiled at that, hoping that they could start the healing process for Mingyu by the time the day was over.

_____________________________________

Mingyu tossed and turned in his bed as he felt the sunlight pouring into the room, trying to hide from it. While he did feel well rested, which was surprising, he didn’t want to get up just yet. He was still recovering from his breakdown from the previous night and wanted to just laze around in bed all day. Yet, he knew he had a schedule today, so what the hell was he still doing in bed?

Blindly reaching over, he felt around for his phone, grabbing it and bringing it to his face. Looking up, his eyes widened when he was it was almost two in the afternoon. Mingyu frantically sat up, wildly looking around the room as if the world would change and he would find himself at the Inkigayo set. Suddenly, the door swung open, making Mingyu focus his eyes at the figure peaking in.

Junhui, seeing that Mingyu had finally woke up, walked in, holding a tray of food before cheerfully exclaiming, “Morning, Gyu! You’re finally up, I was wondering if you’d sleep the entire day. Don’t worry about your schedule, we took care of that. Just eat for now, okay?”

Not processing the information, Mingyu asked, “What’s going on, hyung? How am I still here and not at work right now? What did you tell the manager that made him let me skip?”

Smirking, Junhui whispered, “It’s a secret~”, giggling at Mingyu’s incredulous expression, before telling him, “It’s fine, Guy. Just eat, okay? We have a lot to talk about today, so you’re gonna need your strength.”

“A lot to talk about? With who?” Mingyu asked, picking up a piece of toast that Junhui had lovingly slathered in jelly, bringing it to his mouth skeptically.

“With the hyungs, Mingyu-yah. We’re gonna talk about everything today.” Junhui told him seriously.

Mingyu looked at him with wide eyes, dropping the piece of toast in his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much dialogue, so little time  
this was probably a lot for you guys, it was a lot for me too ;-; I hope I was able to convey everything necessary through this chapter, I really wanted mingyu's insecurities to be explained to the boys and why they were perpetuating them, as well as how this is a fixable problem and the member's want to be better  
I don't know if I got everything, and I don't even know if this chapter is any good, so let me know ;-; I think I might have dropped the ball on this one, so I apologize if it's not up to my usual standards ;-;  
anyways, we're almost done!! just the talk and then maybe *maybe* a bonus chapter of their relationship after, since we all know I'm a sucker for sappy endings ^-^  
please let me know what you think below!! I'm dying for criticism on this chapter especially, I've been really stressed out lately from school so I would actually really appreciate it if you guys could tell me if this is okay, or if I'm turning into a shit writer so I know not to write when I'm going through it LMAO
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


	4. puppy love is all different types of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There wasn’t a sound coming from the dorm as Mingyu and Junhui made their way to where the others were waiting, save for the sound of their own breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, it's finally here~ the last chapter!! I hope that this makes some of you happy and that you're excited to read it!! I'm actually pretty happy with this chapter, so I hope you guys like it too ^-^ we're finally getting the discussion we've all been expecting~
> 
> enjoy~

_____________________________________________

There wasn’t a sound coming from the dorm as Mingyu and Junhui made their way to where the others were waiting, save for the sound of their own breathing.

Mingyu’s eyes widened as he surveyed living room, seeing his hyungs scattered around. When Junhui had told him that they were going to have a talk with the hyungs, he had assumed that that only meant Seungcheol and Wonwoo, and even then, he was reluctant to speak to them about the previous night. He hadn’t realized that when Junhui had said ‘the hyungs’, he meant all of them. Seeing Jeonghan and Jisoo looking at him worriedly on the couch, Soonyoung with a questioning gaze, and Jihoon’s blank face made Mingyu feel small. He hadn’t been prepared to talk to all of them; he wasn’t even sure he could face Seungcheol and Wonwoo, both of whom weren’t even looking at him.

“Sit, Mingyu-yah,” Junhui said gently, breaking Mingyu out of his train of thought, guiding the boy to the love seat against the wall, “The others aren’t here, so it’s just us. Don’t worry about anyone interrupting, they know not to come back until we tell them to. It’s just us, okay? Minghao is here too. He’s here for you, Mingyu-yah, so don’t feel like you’re alone, okay?” He tried to reassure the younger boy, not wanting him to feel cornered. When Junhui had told Minghao of the plan, the younger had been against the idea, worried that Mingyu would feel caged-in if they confronted him; he hoped that the presence of his best friend would help soothe any fears he had about the situation.

At the sound of his name, Minghao reappeared in the room, smiling at Mingyu before putting a glass of water in front of him and sitting on the arm of the love seat, resting his hand on Mingyu’s back, “I’m here, Gyu. Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got you.” Minghao said plainly, eyes full of warmth and confidence. At Minghao’s reassurance, Mingyu calmed down a bit, feeling slightly more at ease with his best friend there. If there was anyone who would have his back in an argument, it would be Minghao.

‘It’s okay,’ Mingyu thought to himself, ‘Minghao is here, and so is Junnie-hyung. They won’t let this get out of hand. They won’t let anyone hurt me. It’ll be fine.’ He told himself, giving both Minghao and Junhui a small smile, before facing his hyungs.

“So,” Junhui started, realizing that he would be heading the conversation for the most part, “I know that most of you aren’t aware of why we’re doing this. I know it probably seems like it came out of no where, and that it feels unnecessary. I know that most of you don’t know what happened last night,” Junhui paused, looking at Seungcheol and Wonwoo, who both winced slightly at the mention of the previous incident, “but that’s not what’s important right now. What’s important right now, is that we know that we’re a team foremost, and a family. And as a family, we’re supposed to support and love each other, and express that in a way that is understandable to all the members in the group. While we all have different ways of expressing that, and some us aren’t as comfortable expressing it as much as others, which is all okay, we still need to make sure our gratitude and affections are being accepted by each other, or else this doesn’t work. We can’t let each other feel unloved, or left out. You guys are my family, and I know that you feel the same.” Junhui said, his last sentence coming out more like a whisper. The others were staring at him intently; even Mingyu was staring at him in awe. It was rare to see Junhui so serious, as he was usually the one joking around and keeping the mood cheerful. It was at times like this that Mingyu really realized how wise his hyung was, and how eloquently he spoke.

“That’s why, we need to talk about how Mingyu has been feeling.” Junhui stated, making Mingyu drop his eyes to the floor. At a moment’s notice, all the eyes in the room switched from looking at Junhui to Mingyu. Despite his stature, Mingyu felt tiny under the gazes of his hyungs that he admired so much. It was a bit jarring to be at the center of all of their attention; previously, this was all he had ever wanted. Yet, at that moment, Mingyu wished the ground would open and swallow him whole.

Feeling a warm hand rub his back, Minghao whispered into his ear, “Can you tell them, Gyu, or do you want me and Junnie to do it? It’s okay if you can’t, but it might be best if they hear how you’ve been feeling straight from you.” Minghao looked at him with comforting eyes, letting Mingyu know that he had an out if he couldn’t do this. That all he had to do was tell Minghao he couldn’t do this, and his friend would take over for him.

Yet, Mingyu knew that this was something he had to say in his own words, or else he wouldn’t be able to get the answers he so desperately needed.

“I-“ Mingyu started, clearing his throat, “I just- it’s been a little hard, recently. I’ve been feeling kind of bad on the inside about some stuff, and it’s just been hard for me for a while.”

“Mingyu-yah,” Junhui prompted, “Can you tell them why?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Mingyu slowly explained, “It’s just- I think I’ve been feeling kind of left out. Not like you guys aren’t talking to me, but like… I just feel like you don’t pay attention to me like the others…” He mumbled, not making eye contact with any of the others. He felt embarrassed talking about his feelings, like he was saying something he shouldn’t. He was aware that this would make them feel guilty and awkward, and he didn’t want that. Yet, Mingyu also knew that keeping it inside for any longer was going to cause problems in the future, and he couldn’t afford to be the reason Seventeen was having problems.

“What do you mean by that, Mingyu-yah?” Jisoo asked softly, trying not to startle the taller boy. For someone so big, here Mingyu was, all curled in on himself, looking so fragile and small. It hurt Jisoo’s heart to see his dongsaeng like this, and knowing that he had some part to play in the boy’s breakdown made the elder feel awful.

“It’s- um- it’s just,” Mingyu began to stutter, feeling overwhelmed with all the pressure put on him at that moment. He wondered if he could actually do this, if he could actually tell his members that they made him feel unloved. He knew it would hurt them and that it could potentially cause a rift between them. The fear of being even further from them, from being even more isolated than he was now made Mingyu tremble, afraid of what could come.

Suddenly, thin arms wrapped around Mingyu’s shaking shoulders, bringing him out of his panic. Before Mingyu could react, a gentle voice reminded him, “It’s okay, Mingyu. No one is going to be mad at you. We’re a family, remember? It’s going to be okay. We’re going to stay with you forever. I’m going to stay with you forever. It’s okay.” Minghao whispered into Mingyu’s hair, soothing the boy by rubbing his back. Mingyu closed his eyes, focusing on Minghao’s gentle touch and kind words; he knew Minghao was right. He could do this, this needed to be done and when it was over, it was going to be fine. It was going to be better.

Pulling himself away from Minghao, Mingyu gave him a thankful smile, before collecting himself and looking at all of his hyungs, who were looking at him with concern, before saying, “I always thought that maybe because I’m one of the older ones in maknae line, that that was why you didn’t really treat me the same as the others. But then I saw how kind and nurturing you were to Seokmin and Minghao, and I figured that that wasn’t the case. And then I tried to blame it on my personality, but that’s not it either, if Seungkwan and Chan are anything to go by. I thought maybe it’s cause we don’t all spend so much time together, cause we’re not in the same unit; but after last night, I know that that’s not it either.” Mingyu said, tears filling his eyes as he recalled the previous night.

At the sight of tears, Wonwoo and Seungcheol wanted to rush forward, to apologize and explain and take care of the giant puppy, but one look at Junhui’s face and they knew that they had best stay in their seats and wait for Mingyu to finish his thoughts. The two rappers sat back in their seats, taking a deep breath and opening their ears and hearts so they could properly listen to their dongsaeng’s concerns and worries that he obviously had been trying to suppress.

Sighing, Mingyu continued on, “I just- I feel like you guys don’t really like me as much as the others. And I know that sounds stupid, there’s a reason I never said anything and it’s cause I know that it’s ridiculous. I know it is. But… sometimes, I can’t help but feel left out when I see you all doting on the others and not me. And it’s not like I need to be taken care of all the time, because I don’t, but… it would be nice if sometimes, you looked after me the way you look after the rest of maknae line… I know that maybe it’s my height or personality or my attitude, or maybe it’s a combo of all three, but just cause I’m big and I know how to do stuff and I can look after myself, doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be nice if my hyungs stuck around with me and helped me when I need it. It would feel good if you guys were paying attention to me too… I don’t know if I just- I just seem unlovable or something but-“ Mingyu rambled, not sure if his thoughts were coming across clearly. He tried to continue, but a sudden voice cut through.

“Don’t say that,” Soonyoung said seriously, but not unkindly, “That’s definitely not the case, Mingyu, and I would hope that you know that but that doesn’t seem like you do. Whatever I or anyone else has done to make you feel that way, I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry, Mingyu-yah, but please don’t ever think that you’re unlovable. That’s the furthest thing from the truth, Gyu.” He finished, looking at Mingyu with such tenderness in his eyes.

“Then- then why don’t you treat me like the others? What is it about me that you don’t like?” Mingyu asked, feeling a bit distraught. The question was one that had plagued the rapper’s mind on sleepless nights, filling him with insecurity and worry.

“Mingyu,” Jeonghan said gently, making Mingyu look at him, “It’s not that e don’t like something about you, that’s not it. I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, I guess I always thought you were capable. You’ve shown us time and time again that you can look after yourself and that you don’t need to be babied by anyone else. Whenever I saw you, I thought, ‘ah, there’s at least one less person I have to worry about’, because I thought you didn’t need my guidance or coddling. But that was wrong of me, Mingyu. I shouldn’t have assumed that just because you didn’t need it, that you didn’t want it. I should have known that you craved affection from us, you’ve always gotten so shy at compliments. I’m so sorry, Mingyu-yah. Hyung was wrong.” Jeonghan walked over to the younger, gently cupping his cheek and brushing away the stray tears slipping down his cheek.

Another voice suddenly continued, adding, “I was wrong too, Mingyu. I should’ve been there for you more. I’m your hyung, yet you’re always the one looking out for me,” Jihoon said, chuckling sadly as his own words, “I know that everyone’s aware that I’m not the best at expressing my emotions well, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. Especially with you, who is always taking care of me and helping me out when you don’t have to. I’m sorry if I’ve ever been cold to you while we’ve been sharing a room, I know that there’s probably been more times than I could imagine that I’ve hurt your feelings with the way I’ve acted. I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t wanna play around with you; it’s never been you, and it’s not like I prefer the other kids to you. I guess I’ve always relied on you, so I never thought about it. I’ll try better to express it, so I don’t make you feel so lonely.”

Jihoon walked over to his roommate as well, sitting on the unoccupied armrest and ruffling the rapper’s hair gently, causing the younger to let out wet chuckles. Mingyu sniffled, trying to stop himself from crying; yet, nothing could stop the wave of emotions and more importantly, relief, that was washing over him.

Jisoo and Soonyoung made their way over as well, taking their place at Mingyu’s side. They both expressed their genuine regret, Soonyoung saying, “I’m sorry if I’ve ever left you out during practice or just regular conversations. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own head, I don’t see what I’m doing to those around me. I know I might always seem focused on Chan or Seokmin, but it’s just because the two of them need me, and I feel obligated to look after them all the time. It’s not fair though, for me to ignore you or to leave you alone.” Jisoo agreed, adding,

“Me too. I know I play with Vernon and Minghao a lot, and the other members of vocal team more, but it’s never been about not wanting to spend time with you. I’ve always admired the way you hold yourself, and how you’ve never needed anyone else to help you. I know now that that was just a front you put up, and I’m sorry for not noticing. I’ll be better too, Mingyu-yah. I love you so much, you know that, right? We love you so so much.” Jisoo said, hugging Mingyu’s side.

Mingyu nodded, smiling softly at his American hyung. He knew he was loved, he could feel it all in that moment. Slowly, he looked up, meeting the gazes of the two he knew were hurting the most from his breakdown. Mingyu smiled at his two favorite hyungs, before beckoning them over. Immediately, the two rappers got up and in front of Mingyu, getting on their knees so they were eye level with the younger.

Seungcheol reached out, gently holding one of Mingyu’s hands before starting, “I know that what I did yesterday was inexcusable. It was mean, and hurtful, and incredibly wrong. I left you alone, and I hurt you in more ways than I can imagine. It was so wrong of me to do that to you, not only as the leader of the unit and the group, but as your hyung. I should have never left that room without you last night, and I am so fucking sorry that I did, Mingyu. I should’ve stayed with you and helped you finish, and then taken you to eat properly because I know you don’t when you’re stressed out. I, of all people, should’ve been looking out for you. I can’t express how sorry I am that I didn’t, and how sorry I am for being one of the root causes for your insecurities and your doubt. I’ve been not only a terrible leader, but a terrible hyung to you.”

Before Mingyu could get a word in, Wonwoo cut him off, “Of everyone here, I’ve probably known you for the longest time, and for a long time, I probably knew you best. I knew that behind your confident exterior, that you loved to be coddled and looked after, and I stupidly ignored that. I purposefully teased you, and made fun of you. I don’t know why I did that, why I didn’t just do what I knew would make you smile. I don’t know why I was being such a terrible hyung, but I do know that I’m so sorry that I did. When Jun told me how upset you were, I couldn’t believe that I was the one who did that to you. I should’ve been the one making you feel safe, after knowing how you are, and I didn’t. I’m probably the worst one out of all of us.” Wonwoo chuckled, voice full of tears.

Slowly, Mingyu reached up, catching one of the tears that had slipped from Wonwoo’s eyes, and smiled at the elder boy, before looking at both of his hyungs and saying, “I’m not mad, Seungcheol-hyung, Wonwoo-hyung. Yes, what you did yesterday really hurt my feelings, and it really sucked. It was really upsetting, and there have been times where the both of you have made my insecurities worse. But, that doesn’t change the fact that the two of you are my favorite hyungs.”

“You both have been there for me for a long, long time. And while you haven’t been so caring recently, I’ll never forget how much you both looked out for me when I had just entered the company, nervous and frightened by how I was going to do this. I was just a pretty face; I didn’t know how to sing or dance, and I was scared of not being able to keep up. But the two of you always reassured me, let me hang off of you and follow you around like your shadow. I always felt safe when I was around you guys, and I can never express how grateful I am for how kind you were to me at that time. You two were the first two people I had ever admired, and I’ll always love you both. I’m not going to say it’s okay, because it’s not, but I will say that I forgive you guys, and that I want for us to get along as well as we did back then, if that’s what you want too.” Mingyu whispered, looking at his hyungs with warm eyes and a kind smile.

The two rappers were unable to hold back their tears any longer, reaching out for the taller boy and wrapping him in their arms, whispering out apologies and promises to make the situation better. Mingyu just smiled, happy to know that his hyungs seemed to have missed him just as much as he had missed them.

Not pulling back from their embrace, Seungcheol declared, “We’ll be better than we ever were Mingyu, I promise.”

Wonwoo quickly agreed, making Mingyu giggle at their behavior. It had been a while since he had seen his hyungs act so serious, much less so serious about him. It warmed his heart to hear that his hyungs wanted this to work too, that they wanted Mingyu to be happy just as much as he wanted them to be.

Suddenly, a voice that sounded an awfully lot like Junhui’s screamed, ‘group hug!’, before someone glomped onto Mingyu’s back, prompting someone else to crash onto Mingyu’s side and the others to laugh before joining the mix. It ended with Jihoon tightly wrapping his arms around them all, reaching his hand out and squeezing onto Mingyu’s, who just smiled and squeezed back.

Minghao, who had refrained from joining in on their dog pile, just chuckled before saying, “Now don’t you guys look cozy. See, Mingyu? Didn’t I say it was going to be fine?” He smiled teasingly at his best friend, before reaching out and ruffling his hair.

All Mingyu could do was answer, “Yeah, it is fine. Thank you, Minghao, Junnie-hyung. For looking out for me.”

The two smiled at Mingyu, before bending down and planting wet kisses on his cheeks, giggling at the puppy’s yelp, before replying.

“Always, Mingyu-yah. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it!! my first mingyu-centric fic is done ^-^ I loved this idea from the moment it popped into my mind, and I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed it as well ;-; I am forever grateful to everyone who left me encouraging comments when I was having a hard time writing, you guys really helped me a lot when I was really struggling, so thank you ^-^  
as for my writing, I will be taking a little break from starting anything new, as I am currently about to graduate college and applying for jobs ;-; I'm also going to be focusing on writing for a junhui fanfest, so please look out for that around February!! hopefully, I'll have other fics out by then (I already have the title for my next fic chosen hehe) but in case I don't, that's what I'm doing so don't worry, I'll be back ^-^  
I want to thank anyone and everyone who's ever clicked on this fic, whether you read it the entire way through or couldn't even finish the first chapter, thank you to everyone who showed interest in my story ^-^ and a special thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments, it really makes my day and motivates me to keep writing ^-^  
lastly, please leave any comments or criticisms you have about this story or my writing in general down below!! I would love to hear what you guys thought, any comment is a good comment ^-^
> 
> twt: littlekittenhui


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